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- Jun 9, 2008
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CHINESE PROVERBS: Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. Man with one chopstick go hungry. Man who scratches butt should not bite fingernails. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk. Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth. War not determine who right, war determine who left. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house :icon_cheesygrin: . Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it. Man who drive like hell bound to get there. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement :icon_mrgreen: . Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs :icon_razz: . Man who farts in church sits in own pew. Man who lay woman on ground get piece on earth :icon_cheesygrin: :icon_cheesygrin:
A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She had twenty- five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these, keep in mind that these are first graders ....6-year-olds, because the last one is classic!
1. Don't change horses ...................... until they stop running.
2. Strike while the .......................... bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before ....... Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of ....... termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but ....... how?
6. Don't bite the hand that .................. looks dirty.
7. No news ................................. impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a .................... Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new ..... math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll ....... stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust ............... me.
12. The pen is mightier than the ......... pigs.
13. An idle mind is ............ the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's ..... pollution.
15. Happy the bride who ................ gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is ........... not much.
17. Two's company, three's ...... the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what ... you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and........you
have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as ........... Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not ............ spanked or pounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed ................. get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you ......... see in the picture on the box.
24. When the blind lead the blind...... get out of the way.
And the WINNER and last one!
25. Better late than..... pregnant. :icon_eek: :icon_eek: :icon_eek:
The following is a partial list of actual written excuses given to teachers in the Albuquerque Public School System by parents of students:
1. Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
2. Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. :icon_eek:
3. Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault. :icon_mrgreen:
4. Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side. :icon_eek:
5. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face. :icon_rolleyes:
6. Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor. :icon_eek:
7. Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over.
8. My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him. :icon_twisted:
9. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part. :icon_cry2:
10. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines. :icon_eek:
11. Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip. :icon_cry2:
12. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. :icon_razz:
13. Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night. :icon_redface:
14. Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating. :icon_surprised:
15. George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach. :icon_frown:
16. Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout. :icon_lol:
17. Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. :icon_cry2: :icon_cry2: :icon_neutral:
18. Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals. :icon_question:
19. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diah (*crossed out*), diahoah (*crossed out*), dyah (*crossed out*) the sh*ts.
:icon_neutral: :icon_question: :icon_razz: :icon_razz: :icon_cheesygrin: :icon_cheesygrin:
A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She had twenty- five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these, keep in mind that these are first graders ....6-year-olds, because the last one is classic!
1. Don't change horses ...................... until they stop running.
2. Strike while the .......................... bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before ....... Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of ....... termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but ....... how?
6. Don't bite the hand that .................. looks dirty.
7. No news ................................. impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a .................... Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new ..... math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll ....... stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust ............... me.
12. The pen is mightier than the ......... pigs.
13. An idle mind is ............ the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's ..... pollution.
15. Happy the bride who ................ gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is ........... not much.
17. Two's company, three's ...... the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what ... you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and........you
have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as ........... Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not ............ spanked or pounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed ................. get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you ......... see in the picture on the box.
24. When the blind lead the blind...... get out of the way.
And the WINNER and last one!
25. Better late than..... pregnant. :icon_eek: :icon_eek: :icon_eek:
The following is a partial list of actual written excuses given to teachers in the Albuquerque Public School System by parents of students:
1. Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
2. Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. :icon_eek:
3. Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault. :icon_mrgreen:
4. Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side. :icon_eek:
5. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face. :icon_rolleyes:
6. Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor. :icon_eek:
7. Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over.
8. My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him. :icon_twisted:
9. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part. :icon_cry2:
10. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines. :icon_eek:
11. Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip. :icon_cry2:
12. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. :icon_razz:
13. Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night. :icon_redface:
14. Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating. :icon_surprised:
15. George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach. :icon_frown:
16. Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout. :icon_lol:
17. Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. :icon_cry2: :icon_cry2: :icon_neutral:
18. Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals. :icon_question:
19. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diah (*crossed out*), diahoah (*crossed out*), dyah (*crossed out*) the sh*ts.
:icon_neutral: :icon_question: :icon_razz: :icon_razz: :icon_cheesygrin: :icon_cheesygrin:
