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This article was taken from the Guardian ...... It makes reference to teenagers and what they call "LOVE" :wub: ...Its lenghtly but interesting....
I think the whole concept of being in love at this age is stupid. I’m so fed up of hearing all the stories about how everyone is SO in love with their boyfriend/girlfriend of two weeks or one month or however long it takes one to supposedly fall in love these days. I don’t know if people run out of things to say to each other or if their relationship is so ‘buss’ and boring that they need to say ‘I love you’ to spice things up, but everywhere I turn someone is in a relationship and after about two weeks they are SO in love.
The best story I heard recently was of this girl, let us call her Sharlene. Miss Sharlene went to Movie Towne about two Saturdays ago and while walking up and down Green Park in her ‘Sunday best’ she met this ‘fella’, let us call him Dave. For Sharlene and Dave it was love at first sight (another ridiculous concept) and after he told her how ‘bess’ and ‘nice’ she was Sharlene gave him her number. After that night they abused My Lime EVERY night for an ENTIRE week and then got together. Pretty soon, all Sharlene spoke about was Dave and was convinced she was so in LOVE with him…yes, after about two weeks. Sounds familiar? The sad thing is, I know countless stories like this, but honestly the hilarious thing is that after about a month the couple that was SO in love broke up and got with other people and guess what…yes, they ‘fall in love’ again!
I’m so happy that I’ve never had to be in a relationship where my boyfriend told me something like this because I don’t think my response would be too pleasant. Honestly people, wake up! You are not in love with your boyfriend of one month; you are probably infatuated, but love, no way! Infatuation is normally present at the start of a relationship; you know that time when the world is literally a better place because the object of your affection is now with you. It is caused by a chemical reaction in the body. Your body releases hormones which result in feelings of happiness. This is all quite natural as these hormones are released to ensure that the two humans stay together long enough to have children and ensure survival of the species. It’s all biology really, not love!
By now you’re probably shaking your head, rolling your eyes and getting ready to turn the page because you think I don’t understand YOUR relationship and wonder who am I to tell YOU that you’re not in love with your significant other. After all, when you’re around them your heart beats quicker, your palms sweat and you have butterflies in your stomach. This, my friends, is Mr Infatuation himself! Mrs Love on the other hand takes time. She doesn’t come quickly or easily and can only happen when infatuation fades away. She is a calmer, more stable and mature feeling which is characterised by respect. Truth is, the majority of teenage relationships do not even last long enough for infatuation to fade, so love is simply out of the question.
I don’t know what world you live in but on Planet Earth, you cannot truly fall in love with anyone in two days, two weeks or two months. Just because you’ve been together for a year that does not mean that you have to be in love. Don’t ever feel pressured to tell someone that you love them when you don’t. If they persist, you can tell them thank you but I don’t think you mean that and I would appreciate it if you don’t repeat it until you actually do. Furthermore, I don’t see the need to be tied down to someone.
Sure you can have a boyfriend or girlfriend, nothing is wrong with that (unless you’re like 12 and playing fresh) but that does not mean that you need to spend every hour with your phone attached to your ear talking to that person, neither should your entire life revolve around that person. You’re a teenager, you shouldn’t want to be so caught up in a relationship that if you break up you feel like your life has no purpose, that you can’t live without that person and you should kill yourself. That is just ‘in too deep’ which is something we should try to shy away from and not gravitate towards! One should never tote so many feelings!
So people, in short I think it’s very important that we think before we speak. Healthy relationships can be great at this age as they tend to teach us a lot about ourselves and others and prepare us very well for the more serious relationships we will have in our later years. However, there is no need to be in love with your significant other or to be literally stuck to their side; people need their space. If you become too needy, you will get annoying and you will get ‘dun’.
There is absolutely no need to be in love or even be thinking about that kind of love at our age. There are so many more important things to focus on! Also, never ever feel pressured to say something you know you don’t genuinely mean.
If you sincerely disagree with everything that I have said, I leave you with these words from one of the greatest books of all time, The Bible. Whether you’re religious or not I think this description of love is definitely on par: ‘Love is always patient and kind; love is never jealous…boastful or conceited, it is never rude…it does not take offence or store up grievances…it is always ready to make allowances, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes’ (1Cor 13.4-8). If after reading that you can still say, ‘I truly love my significant other’ then so be it. However, I still maintain that teenage relationships cannot reach this level due to our own immaturity and the idea of teenagers being genuinely in love is completely absurd.
I think the whole concept of being in love at this age is stupid. I’m so fed up of hearing all the stories about how everyone is SO in love with their boyfriend/girlfriend of two weeks or one month or however long it takes one to supposedly fall in love these days. I don’t know if people run out of things to say to each other or if their relationship is so ‘buss’ and boring that they need to say ‘I love you’ to spice things up, but everywhere I turn someone is in a relationship and after about two weeks they are SO in love.
The best story I heard recently was of this girl, let us call her Sharlene. Miss Sharlene went to Movie Towne about two Saturdays ago and while walking up and down Green Park in her ‘Sunday best’ she met this ‘fella’, let us call him Dave. For Sharlene and Dave it was love at first sight (another ridiculous concept) and after he told her how ‘bess’ and ‘nice’ she was Sharlene gave him her number. After that night they abused My Lime EVERY night for an ENTIRE week and then got together. Pretty soon, all Sharlene spoke about was Dave and was convinced she was so in LOVE with him…yes, after about two weeks. Sounds familiar? The sad thing is, I know countless stories like this, but honestly the hilarious thing is that after about a month the couple that was SO in love broke up and got with other people and guess what…yes, they ‘fall in love’ again!
I’m so happy that I’ve never had to be in a relationship where my boyfriend told me something like this because I don’t think my response would be too pleasant. Honestly people, wake up! You are not in love with your boyfriend of one month; you are probably infatuated, but love, no way! Infatuation is normally present at the start of a relationship; you know that time when the world is literally a better place because the object of your affection is now with you. It is caused by a chemical reaction in the body. Your body releases hormones which result in feelings of happiness. This is all quite natural as these hormones are released to ensure that the two humans stay together long enough to have children and ensure survival of the species. It’s all biology really, not love!
By now you’re probably shaking your head, rolling your eyes and getting ready to turn the page because you think I don’t understand YOUR relationship and wonder who am I to tell YOU that you’re not in love with your significant other. After all, when you’re around them your heart beats quicker, your palms sweat and you have butterflies in your stomach. This, my friends, is Mr Infatuation himself! Mrs Love on the other hand takes time. She doesn’t come quickly or easily and can only happen when infatuation fades away. She is a calmer, more stable and mature feeling which is characterised by respect. Truth is, the majority of teenage relationships do not even last long enough for infatuation to fade, so love is simply out of the question.
I don’t know what world you live in but on Planet Earth, you cannot truly fall in love with anyone in two days, two weeks or two months. Just because you’ve been together for a year that does not mean that you have to be in love. Don’t ever feel pressured to tell someone that you love them when you don’t. If they persist, you can tell them thank you but I don’t think you mean that and I would appreciate it if you don’t repeat it until you actually do. Furthermore, I don’t see the need to be tied down to someone.
Sure you can have a boyfriend or girlfriend, nothing is wrong with that (unless you’re like 12 and playing fresh) but that does not mean that you need to spend every hour with your phone attached to your ear talking to that person, neither should your entire life revolve around that person. You’re a teenager, you shouldn’t want to be so caught up in a relationship that if you break up you feel like your life has no purpose, that you can’t live without that person and you should kill yourself. That is just ‘in too deep’ which is something we should try to shy away from and not gravitate towards! One should never tote so many feelings!
So people, in short I think it’s very important that we think before we speak. Healthy relationships can be great at this age as they tend to teach us a lot about ourselves and others and prepare us very well for the more serious relationships we will have in our later years. However, there is no need to be in love with your significant other or to be literally stuck to their side; people need their space. If you become too needy, you will get annoying and you will get ‘dun’.
There is absolutely no need to be in love or even be thinking about that kind of love at our age. There are so many more important things to focus on! Also, never ever feel pressured to say something you know you don’t genuinely mean.
If you sincerely disagree with everything that I have said, I leave you with these words from one of the greatest books of all time, The Bible. Whether you’re religious or not I think this description of love is definitely on par: ‘Love is always patient and kind; love is never jealous…boastful or conceited, it is never rude…it does not take offence or store up grievances…it is always ready to make allowances, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes’ (1Cor 13.4-8). If after reading that you can still say, ‘I truly love my significant other’ then so be it. However, I still maintain that teenage relationships cannot reach this level due to our own immaturity and the idea of teenagers being genuinely in love is completely absurd.
