I consider myself to be a healthy, well-adjusted adult. I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, listen to NPR, and I even wash glass jars before I recycle them. I'm practically perfect! However, if you were to break into my music collection and judge me by the content of some of the song lyrics, you might think I was a drug-using, sexist, suicidal, angry, violent, and perverted person.
And based on the sales figures for bands and musicians ranging from Tool to Christina Aguilera, I'm not the only parent who can be so judged! Even the most straight-laced among us probably have at least one song in their collections that they'd never want their children to hear.
What's truly scary is that we now live in a world where the suggestive lyrics of Madonna, the angry diatribes of Metallica and the anti-authority attitudes of N.W.A. will soon be classic rock. Unlike the music of the 1960s, which employed innuendo to deal with sex and violence, today we are inundated with direct and vulgar lyrics ― some of which are performed by my favorite bands.
But just because I like jogging to the antisocial sounds of Slayer, it doesn't mean I condone their messages. So how am I to respond if my kids happen to scan my MP3-player and ask, "Daddy, what are Violent Femmes?" or "Daddy, what does N.W.A. stand for?" And how do I protect my children from these potentially damaging messages without sounding like a hypocrite?
(Note: Music, of course, is not the only potentially harmful product of popular culture. Many of the principles of this piece are also applicable to other forms of salacious entertainment such as movies, video games and cable news.)
Brain-damaged baby mamas: Why we care revisited
Just in case there's still a parent out there who thinks it's cute when her daughter sees a swing-set pole and says, "That's what Christina Aguilera dances with" or finds it funny when their son says, "Yo dog, I need some chronic," let's briefly revisit what can happen when an adolescent uses drugs or is exposed to sex.
Chronic, for those not in the know, is slang for high-quality marijuana popularized by Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog. It's not short for the San Francisco Chronicle, which I'd originally thought.
Jennifer Margulis, Ph.D., a mother of three and a parenting expert, reminds us that "recreational drugs cause alterations in your brain that, if your brain is still forming can be permanent."
From what I've seen, they alter the part of the brain that would want to move out of his parents' house before the age of thirty. We all love our children, but we don't want a middle-aged stoner in the basement just because we forgot to mention that for every Snoop Dog who had success despite heavy marijuana use, there are millions of other dogs who didn't.
Equally damaging, especially to young girls, are the sexual messages. Dr. Ellen Rome, MD, MPH, Head, Section of Adolescent Medicine, Cleveland Clinic says, "We know that if kids watch X-rated videos, they are more likely to have sex themselves, more likely to not use protection, more likely to imitate the behavior, and they're more likely [both guys and girls], to identify a girl as wanting to be raped who dresses provocatively. You can extrapolate that effect to music."
While music may be arguably less provocative than X-rated imagery, it still glamorizes sex. But sex can lead to pregnancy ― and there's nothing glamorous about missing the junior prom due to a colicky baby.