I am beyond fed up. I have no more Trini pride and live in fear on a near constant basis.
1. My building has been robbed 2-3 times (before I moved in). The first time I moved to a different place with a newborn baby, there was a shootout next door late at night, police came and did nothing even though everybody knew who did it. The next move, a series of buildings were robbed including mine. Luckily only what was in my gallery was stolen and they broke into the other apartment in my building, not mine. There are buildings in my area robbed repeatedly every year. This is a hot spot for accidents as well (which was said about other places I've lived too.)
2. The law and society is heavily bigoted. Women have very little in place for support and protection legally and many people in the law are sexist. Police have refused to file two of my reports because the first time I was unmarried and was supposed to get married and come back only when my husband had proof off my allegations despite the evidence I gave them. The second time I was told the next event needed to happen directly to him because he would have to file the report. My third report was taken only because my significant other was willing to testify on my account. No one listened to a word I said even though like the others, the event happened to ME. People with contacts and bribes continue to use police like puppets but there is very little chance of true justice. We are in 2015 and LGBT relations are illegal, marital rape is accepted, child marriage is legal, and abortions are illegal still. The majority of people in society do not understand what boundaries and healthy relationships are and encourage and condone abuse and many acts of violence and aggression. I'm not even gonna get into the big victim blaming mentality here.
3. I have been assaulted before and told by everyone that it must have been my fault. I look for clothing etc based on color, style, comfort, size, how hard it would be to get raped in, how hard it would be to fight back in during a potential assault, and by making sure it draws little to no attention to me from robbers etc. I am too afraid to wear jewelry, not even fake ones, and wear no accessories at all. I am now learning to wear little bits of make up; I was previously afraid that it would draw criminal attention.
4. I have been physically and verbally abused in the public health sector and neglected. This almost could have been fatal for me at least four times and fatal for my son at least twice. The last time, false information was put in my papers so they would not get in trouble so I have no proof other than a small physical handicap that is repeatedly brushed aside and excused by all health authorities I have spoken too. Similar events have happened to other women I know who have received the same treatment.
I have reasons and then some. I feel no pride, comfort, or ease in being a Trini or living here. Only fear of the next time I become someone's target in this very unjust backwards society with a poor excuse of a legal system and uncooperative sexist authorities. I have heard personal accounts far worse than mine and consider myself lucky things haven't been worse. I have never lived anywhere as fear invoking as Trinidad and I've moved around A LOT. If the option were available to me to live somewhere else, I joke and tell people I would "close my eyes and pick a country, any country" as long as it wasn't Trinidad.
